Monday, March 26, 2007

un Publish

Week #20

This weekend I went to Clarksville Tennessee, to visit my mothers’ sisters’ son. If you were to be within ear shoot of me standing next to a six foot five black man and calling him "cuz" most people would think that I was just using a euphemism but no, he is my cousin. My mother has four sisters, all of them younger, one of them Donna married a black man in the sixties and they had two sons. My cousin Justin is a two tour Iraqi veteran.
Clarksville Tennessee is home to Fort Campbell and one of the largest army bases in the Midwest. Most people would say that Fort Campbell is in Kentucky, which it is, it is just that the right side of US 41 alternate is Kentucky and the left side is Tennessee. With that said, I do not see why any one would shop on the left side of the road, considering that Tennessee has a flat tax across the board of ten percent. That is ten percent on milk, bread, beer, schoolbooks, and new and used cars. I have this idea that Tennessee does not have Powerball so that is why their tax is funny, if they had Powerball then they would have enough money to help school and their communities but they like overtaxing people.
From my mothers’ house, it is ninety miles south on Penneyrile to Fort Campbell. Along the way, if you have ever been, Kentucky opens up from a flat lands in the north to rolling hills as you go further south. It is a really good drive this time of year, with all the forsythias in bloom and the sterile white Bradford pears, daffodils and/or Narcissus. Every once and a while the tree give way to exposed rock cliffs and little creeks that criscross central Kentucky. The only wild life that was present was hawks and buzzards; they are a sure sing of the survival of the fittest rule playing out in the woods and along the parkway. I could not think of a better way to spend my weekend, on the road with my mother, windows down, Sirius satellite radio off, and just the highway ahead.
With much indecision and debate, we decided on the Ruby Tuesdays. That is where we had an early diner. With not a second glance at the menu, I came to the conclusion that I had never eaten at the Ruby Tuesday, even if the decor seemed to spark a wicked case of dayjavue. Even before my backside hit the seat I had been duked, on the way in past the host podium, and around this little corner, sat the salad bar, this is were I was deceived. The salad bar looked so good that not only my mother but my cousin as well, committed on how big it looked and how well stocked it seemed, well this was a farce. The salad bar had a mirror behind it that gave the impression that it was, if any thing, twice as big. So without knowing any better we all accepted the waitress invitation "salad bar anyone".After our meal Justin asked if we would like a tour of the base. This was an opportunity that I could not pass up. I worked at a Naval Air Station in Brunswick Maine and built an aircraft hanger so I knew the gist of getting on and off of a secure military installation. The first question my cousin asked me was if I had gotten my concealed weapons permit yet and if I had a weapon on me. The second question was "got your I.D." and next thing were we on base.
We must have driven around the base for two hours while he showed us the lay out. He lives off base ever since he got back from the war but he showed us two barracks he had lived in. He said that fort Campbell was home to some thirty thousand soldiers. While driving around we saw the jump towers where they train for their airborne status. It was amazing how big the base was there was four different motor pools that were the size of a mall parking lot filled with Humvee and tanks, medical trucks with their distinctive red cross, some Vietnam era tracked vehicles, and a few tank. He pointed out that any building that had a orange triangle with the number four painted on it housed all their toys i.e. guns, rocket launchers, grenade throwers, c4, ammo and body armor all the good stuff.

Greater Expectations #19

The expectation of college professors and high school teachers can varie little or a lot depending on the questions we ask. If we ask whom do you think more fondly of, I believe most people would pick nether and most of the time they would answer that the teacher they think most fondly of is an elementary school teacher. Some white haired old lady that never wore any thing with a pattern and no bright colors. The two things that I miss about elementary school is the naps. It is kind of the same I see people asleep everyday at the University of Southern Indianan.One of the differences that I have noticed is that college professors seem to be more distant. I have not been engaged much by the college professors I have had. None of them has asked how my day is going or how may weekend went. One reason this could be is that our time, as students, is limited to one semester with the one professor.In high school at the start of class we would discuss current event and news stories. This is helpful in discerning who people are and what they think of the world around them. This is one of the best ways to get to know someone, by getting some ones opinion. This is something that I miss getting that little bit of insight into some one. But with fifty minute classes I can see where there is not enough time to chit chat or have open panel discussion about topics of the day.High school teachers expected you to be there every day and college professors seem not to care. But if you happen to miss the same class seven time I think they drop you from the class. My last two years of high school was in Kentucky, the year was ninety-seven and ninety-eight I think, but the point I am getting at is that those two years the state of Kentucky implemented this rule that for every day you miss after a certain amount that they would start docking you points off your grades. I was never the best student in high school but I always passed until this rule went in to effect. This caused me to drop out because no one wants to attend the eleventh grade three times. The reason why I was absent was that my girlfriend at the time was eighteen and a home owner. When she was younger she never got along with her mother so when she turned seventeen her grandparents whom were slumlords or landlords, which ever you prefer, gave her a house if she would stay in school. Another reason why I missed so much school was because she was two years my senior and when she graduated I put her on my emergency card list. So when I was at school I would be sitting there and over the loud speaker would come "Chris get your thing and report to the lobby" and we would go to her house and drink and watch the Animaniacs.High school teacher expect to mold you and college professors expect you to be molded. Since it has been eight or so since i have been in school i have mold my self but not into a student. Best intentions are usually just that intentions, intentions that do not come to fruition. If I could start my college life over again my expectation for myself, I would hope, would be realized.

The Diff #18

Any two people are bound to have different characteristics and different personal habits most of them are ingrained early in childhood. Just like a tiger cant change his spots and a Dalmatian skin has black spots we are left with what we were born with, what we were raised with. Sure we can get rhinoplastie so it is harder to tell our heritage, or color our hair and eyebrows so no one will know we come from an all blond family but the fact remains that we know who we are and that is all that matters.I know quite a few people that have wired eating habits. I have a friend Joe that thinks if it is not in a bowl with milk on top, it is not breakfast, while I prefer some kind of eggs and my choice of pork of the first meal of the day, even though I usually go with out that most important meal of the day. I have a friend Navajo who is a ripped and a mussel head starts every day with a protein shake and a can of tuna.One idea that I have is about people that do not eat any thing green, carnivores if you will, is that they never had to. The way I see it is that as snot nosed little kids they would scream and kick about how they hate carrots, they hate broccoli, or that they hate capers and mommy would just cook them macaroni and cheese for every meal. As they grow in to adolescences and adulthood they remember that they do not like carrots but they don not know why, when the real reason is that they were just brats that were more interested in getting their way then trying new foods. Habit is taught and the lessons learned will follow you through life even if you cannot tell you are on a path that does not meander through the vegetable garden.While we are in the kitchen we should touch on cleanliness. My grandmother all ways told me their are to kinds of people, people that do things because they want to and people that do things because they are told to. Now with much reluctance I am going to say that I live with a total slob, she is a she in her middle twenties and for some reason has some of the most repelling habits I have ever had to live with. She will cook and just leave the stove dirty with spots of stuff, caked on gunk, pasta burnt and stuck to the stove, all the spices she uses left out, butter spoiling on the counter, and shit spilled on the floor. I think that if you are hungry enough to cook that you should be hungry enough to clean. She has this habit where she will eat in the living room and just leave her plates on the coffee table or under the coffee table. It got so bad that I would do the dishes but leave the dirty living room dishes under the table after many days there got to be like ten plates and utensils under the table before she pick them up. But the worst part is that she has a boyfriend that does not do a f**king thing either and it is like living with two little kids.As I brainstormed and compiled my thoughts for this paper I came to a conclusion that seemed to be right in front of me all of this time, it is one that had never dawned on me. The conclusion it is that with having to pick up after grown-ass people every day that my grades are going to suffer. I am the kind of person that is more ashamed of the way my house looks then the way I look, that I may be unkempt but my house is not. This is a problem that I am going to have to straighten out soon if I am to keep my sanity in tact. I am the kind of person that does not do confrontation very well and I will sidestep it every chance that I get. This is probably where my problem is coming from. How can I help myself? Will I help myself? When will I help myself? All the advice that I can offer myself is say it, do it, and it will get said, and it will get done. Well that is what I need to tell myself.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

A Little Extra #17

This years spring break had a little extra bonus that came in the form of an extra hour of day light thanks to our government moving daylight savings time. Even with a week and an extra hour of off time it did not feel very vacation-ie. For some reason I feel like I was being pulled in many different directions at once.One of the odd facts about growing old is that every so often people have a fallings outs, and no longer want to socialize with each other. But this does not just stop with the parties in question it washes over onto every one else. So people like me have to tip toe around making sure that this person is not around that person and that person is not around this person and so on. So if you call party A to invite them out and they decline then should you invite their party B out to the same function even if there is the off chance that party A might show up. This did happen on my spring break and seems to happen on a regular basis even though it is never on purpose. I have put the wrong people in the same room so many times that it has the effect of bringing people back together romantic and platonic.It seemed that every day of my spring break if I wanted to be alone someone would pop up wanting to chill all day and if I wanted to chill I would go all day and not see another soul. I have spent many years weeding out people that did not mesh in to the overall group and many people have wed and divorced, moved out of the country, had one kid, had more than one kid, got lost, got found, or just got away. Now I am left with just this one thought that I don’t have enough people around me now or it could be that the people around me do not have enough time now. I guess it is said right that we all do look back on the past fondly I think it is not because it was a fond time it just that people forget all the little bumps in the road and every thing seems smooth or sment smothed.