This assignments asks me to reflect on my semester so far and then to look forward, well since this is one of the papers that I missed the first time through, I will have to answer everything in a past-tense form. What is left for me to due you ask, well to that I say, "just exit exams and finals". My game plan for the remaining weeks is to just survive. I have been hanging on for so long that I fell like a free climber that has been left stranded on El Capatain. I have ran out of chalk, my hands hurt, there is a eagle harassing me, and it is the off season. I am here to wilt away, I am here to stay.
When reflecting upon my first semester, I cannot seem to get away from the realization that, for the most part, I have spent it by myself. My roommate is a waitress that usually closes, so that leaves me home all day alone, just me and my cat, until midnight or so. If it was not for Charlie Murphy (my cat) I do not know how I would have spent all this unwanted free time that has been forced upon me. I had this weird notion come across me one day, not to long ago, while I was watching a prison show on the MSNBC channel. It was this, that on most days a death row inmate has more interaction with people then I do. This sounds worse out loud then it did when I first decided to type it down. I feel that if I did not have all this free time, I would have been more apt to study more. With no one coming over I would say to myself that " there’s more time, I have all night" well that was just words. For me, it is so hard to get good study sessions in, when I have nothing to look forward to later.
I do not think that I ever got a chance to recharge my batteries this semester. But I know, that next semester I will be more able to cope with everything and that I will do much better. If I had a girl that would strip for me when I answered questions right or would "hold out" unless I showed her that I have done my homework I feel that I would have a 3.99. I need a woman to blackmail me into doing more. Now that I know all the trapping I know that I can tiptoe my way through and past many of the obstacles that I found squarely in my way this last go-around. Sometime I ask myself "can you make it another four or five years before I enter into a career". To this I say a resounding "Yes". A lot of my friends and people that I went to high school with have found normalcy through factory job and bar girls. I really fell that that is not for me. The only person that can say what I am going to do is me and I know that I still have a lot of fight let in me.
The only challenge that I have had besides deadlines is my math class and that ended up to be a losing battle, this time. The next time that I meet Mr. Math in a dark alley I am going to know where to strike, how to strike, and with what to strike with. It is said that a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, well when I took my first step in math class it was already week four and that is when I found that my shoelaces were tied together. My math class was just review for the first few week and I was raising my hand and being involved, but slowly I started to know less and less of what was going on until I was completely lost. I should have not snickered my way through the first month. I just started to admit that I am going to fail my math class a couple of week ago, even though I have known it in way longer then that.
A grand flourish you say, more like a whimper and a puff of smoke. In every box of firecracker you will find a few duds. That does not mean that they did not have to potential to be as crowd pleasing as all the rest, it is just that there needs to be a little diversity in everything and if that means having to let out a sigh everyone and a while instead of a hooray, gentlemen I implore you to sigh right along with me.
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