Something from Nothing #9

Last week while shopping for nothing unparticular I happened upon the large appliance aisle. There I browsed in lanes looking at the styles and color options of new stoves, refrigerator or, washing machines, and microwaves. Some of the new microwaves cost as much as eighteen hundred dollars and will cook things faster and better then anything before. They have browners that will give the appearance of baking, with food that has a crispy crust just like an oven. An incandescing light is used in some models to improve cook time and to cook faster. This technology is nice but for now it is still out of reach for most consumers who are just trying to spend thirty dollars on one so they can reheat a burrito or warm a cup of coffee. This is fine a regular microwave should only be used to reheat food not to cook it. Besides bacon "which I think is fine to cook in a microwave" I thought no one could or would want to cook something raw in a microwave, from start to finish, until the other day.I was having a conversation with someone at a local tavern telling him about my trip to electronic store. Regaling them in what I have seen and learned, this continued on for a while with nothing really said. Until he started talking about cooking scrambled egg in the microwave from scratch from just raw eggs in a bowl. I found that to be a disturbing idea one that I would never repeat. At this time I should say that my kitchen is always clean and I am a proud dishwasher so the notion of having to wash a pan or dirtying the stovetop I say bring it on.The man went in to detail on how to prepare the micro-eggs in depth. Telling how while watching through the glass panel door you can watch the reactions happen. I have never tried this so I can only repeat what he said, so my description maybe off somewhat. But inesance you mix as many egg as you want and milk in to a bowl and put it in the microwave. He told as how his stepmother would cook eggs for the entire family for breakfast like this in one attempt in one bowl. I do not know why but this was unsettling to me for some reason. Just cooking eggs in the microwave is an alien thought. He said "you cook them till they are done" and I replied, "two three minutes" he said "till they are done" well as a cook myself this was not enough information for me. He insisted that you never have to stir them or tent to them you just hit start and watch. What was crazy is that he said like plump up into a blob of egg. It’s like egg Jell-O from the microwave or something. The eggs expand as the cook and you can see this happen. The scrambled part is where you take a fork and break up the egg blob in to tiny scrambled egg blobs. Now I am an egghead I eat them, scramble them, Sunnyside up, omelet, sulfa, cambula, whatever but not in the microwave.I have cooked for my self so long that I consider myself a chef and I know without a shadow of a doubt that I can out cook most people, most people’s parent, I will even out cook your grandma and that is no hogwash. I own a flour sifter and sift all the flour I ever use, I make sauces from cornstarch, pasta from nothing, from nothing and a dusty board, My heart goes out to all that miss out on homemade food the one you see at the American style buffet as you drive by. I know the joy of spending hours making a meal all the prep work, ruining some thing three times in a row before you can say yes I can my a cobbler form fruit and flour, yes I use turmeric, yes I cook.